Never Give In, Never Back Down Eclare
by XxMusicxKelseyxX
Summary: Clare, the sassy anything but perfect religious teen, finds herself in a mess when she meets Elijah Goldsworthy. Will they make it through, or will life overwhelm them when Clare finds out whats hiding deep inside? T maybe M later
1. My lovely prologue pt1

**Prologue part one aka Day 1**

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, but I won't post this on other chapters because it's a waste of time. If I owned Degrassi, I wouldn't be writing stories as fanfiction, I'd be too busy writing episode scripts.

I think everybody has that one solely perfect moment in life where everything just feels… like all the pain and emotional endeavors were worth it. Heh, I sound like my mother. She always told me of "the perfect moment". It was when my older sister Darcy was born. Darcy was born an angel in disguise; she was destined for great things, and I am not even good enough to be her shadow despite all her mistakes. How she was stalked by some random guy and I had to call the cops, how she was raped (god how I hate that word, every time it makes me shiver), and her drunken rebellion. Despite all this, she was better. I did nothing wrong, I guess it's just harder to love a second babe when you already love the first one so much…. And when she isn't gorgeous.

"Clare, Darcy's on the phone, she wants to talk to you!"

Oh did I mention the fact Darcy tried to kill herself? Yeah, I think it's why she moved. Yeah, she moved to Kenya, to make up for her mistakes. She's always like "I feel so good, Clare, you have no idea! It's so exhilarating! I think I've finally redeemed myself in the kingdom of heaven…."

I guess I just had to vent it out somewhere. Anyway, my name is Clare D Edwards, or as I secretly call myself, Clarity Edwards. Yeah, I'm kind of lame, but with all this pressure to be beautiful like Darcy, it's a bit hard. I'm not model thin, my hair is always always a mess, and I'm short. On the other hand, I used to look like a nerd in a school uniform, long hair, and glasses. God looking at old pictures makes me cry…. How could I have been so boring?

I saw a hand wave in front of me, I guess I got lost in thought. I grabbed the phone, and regretted the sorrowful tone I used to say hey. I love Darcy, but she's like a fox. I felt like she could smell the drama, even from what would seem like millions of miles away. I sighed and told her about this summer, and my horrible high school experiences.

"Whatever happened to you, Saint Clare? Well no wonder mom and dad are fighting, just listen to yourself!" I used a few profanities to emphasize how much my ex, KC, hurt me by cheating on me with the "slutty bitch of an EX bestfriend" Jenna who later went to spread rumors or something. I also mentioned how my old friend Wesley touched my boobs today, and how I was so confused…. (a/n: frick chris you suck, even when I write it gets stuck in my head .) I listened to my sister drone on. After a while I just hung up, I was so exhausted, and I honestly don't think she'd notice now that it was her turn to talk.

Its amazing how well one can sleep when they're trying to escape from their life, but sadly I had to get up and face another day. As I got up and yawned, I smiled. Today I would get Jenna back. I mean, who does that? Steal boyfriends AND spread rumors? I put on Darc's v-neck and skirt from when she went to degrassi, put in earrings and other accessories all the "slutty girls" usually wore. I even over did my make up. I'm not saying Alli's a slut because she over does her make up, but she's the only exception to be proven "innocent" as far as I've seen. Hell even this make up guru from church is always trying to hit on my dad. It makes me mad because we're all trying so hard to keep it together. How much longer can I hold all this in?

I got to school, and Alli met me at my locker. She looked me up and down, smiling. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was gay by how excited it got her. Our eyes met and I could tell she knew my plan. We went into the bathroom, and I went inside my vampire fan fiction book to grab socks. I shoved them down my shirt and skipped merrily to gym, where the guys, including my evil ex KC, were sitting around the bleachers.

"You shouldn't be so pathetic! If this is just some lame attempt to get KC back, then you can forget it!" Jenna yelled at me. I smirked, amused at her naivety. If you're gunna eaves drop, at least hear the whole thing! I let her go on, but eventually I got bored and interrupted her.

"You know what, your right. I don't need these," I said as I removed the socks and pushed them in her hands," and if I wanted KC back, I'd already have him. I wouldn't have to do anything." She stood there, dumb founded, and the boys looked a bit disappointed. I guess, even as exhilarating as it was, so was I because nobody even noticed that I wasn't wearing glasses.

Finally, it was the end of the day, and still no compliments on my real sugery, eye surgery. I was really frustrated, and attempted to put my glasses on since apparently it didn't make a difference to anybody, when Alli got upset and grabbed my glasses. All of a sudden, everything was in slow motion, and my glasses flew right out of Alli's hand and landed right on the road.

CRUNCH! It was ironic. A hearse ran over my glasses. It immediately stopped of course and a pair of hot black skinnies stuck out the side of the door, followed by the really cute top half of the owner. He retrieved my now broken glasses, and handed them to me.

"I think they're dead," yeah the hearse thing was definetly ironic now.

"Its, it's okay. I got surgery," this kid was really really cute, which made me nervous. I tried to look down but he caught my eyes.

"You have really pretty eyes," he said. I lightly blushed. Finally, today was complete. He might not have noticed, and I think he was too new to know anyways, but at least I got a compliment.

"I'll see you around?" I asked curiously. Kinda a stupid question, but I felt like something more had to be said, and I was never one to say "good bye". He told me he probably would, then drove away.

Insomnia. I had it all my life, on and off. Sometimes I would never wake up, and sometimes I couldn't even escape. Tonight I just plain couldn't sleep. I could only think of the skinny jean wearing hearse driver. He smirked at me! And those amazingly emerald orbs…. How could he have been complimenting mine! When I looked into them, they were mysterious but playful. I didn't even know his name and already he was always on my mind…..

Author's Notes: This is my crappy cliché prologue part 1, since I feel awkward not doing it even though we all basically know this stuff, minus my few spins to keep it classy and interesting. Clare might seem ooc, but degrassi was never a show to tell you what the person thinks, and thoughts, words, and actions can vary just… incredibly. I also find it kind of short, but its almost 3am and I leave from dad's to mom's tomorrow. I'll try to update soon, and hopefully I won't abandon this project…. . It should be easier because it's a casual obsession, not a phase like Inuyasha xD **anime nerd** oh and on a final note, I looooove music, and a hella lots of it, so stuff like that will probably appear from time to time to a lot. From the goo goo dolls to my personal favorites like black veil brides my chemical romance and the red jumpsuit apparatus. If their songs annoy you, you can leave now. Thanks for reading, don't forget to R&R I wanna see how well I did at this

XxMusicxKelseyxX


	2. Prologue Part 2

**Prologue Part 2**

Screw the disclaimer

I woke up, and for once I wasn't concentrated on Darcy, or my parents fighting, though I did hear it as I fell asleep last night. It didn't matter, because all I could think of was the guy. I was never good at guessing what grades people were in, but we probably were in different grades, meaning different classes. It only made sense, because we were already about a week into school. What kind of new kid comes after the first week? Oh, that's actually quite smart now that I think about it since the first week is more or less dull introduction. But still, I doubt he is. Despite this, and the fact he was probably older then me, I was excited because I knew it was only a matter of time before I could talk to him; even if it had to be in the halls or the caf. Today I didn't go hardcore like yesterday, especially since my point had been proven, but I still went a little bit flirtier then normal. I would never admit it out loud, but it was for the emerald-eyed boy. I wore a jean skirt with a matching jacket, and a purple All I Wanted Was You by Paramore shirt. I applied eyeliner and mascara, which was good enough for me, then I throw all my necessities into my purse, grabbed my bag, and walked downstairs.

"And what am I supposed to do Randall? Just call and cancel? You said you'd be there!" I walked past my mom, as she turned red, and my dad fought her back, saying he only agreed to shut her up and such. Is it bad that I'm so numb from it that it's so normally that I don't even care anymore? I remember the first time he made her cry. I spent the whole night writing and crying. Now, I feel bad but that's it. I ate some toast it waffles in the middle of the battlefield, yet I went unnoticed. I would have asked for a ride, but I knew better so I grabbed my bike lock, lightly said goodbye and left.

It had been 2 blocks already and I hadn't spotted him yet. I sighed with frustration and went to Advanced 11 English. I was a really smart grade 10er to say the least and so I was bumped up. I look my seat and looked around the room. I sighed. He wasn't in this class either, even though it wasn't grade 10. A kid was smiling at me, and I nervously smiled back. He was beside me, and he looked really friendly and sweet, but he wore a beanie, kind of like what my evil ex KC wears now. I look down at an English paper and write my name, waiting for my teacher Miss Dawes to assign work.

I heard a grunt, and I got my last paper handed in. A kid came in late, but I ignored , because I was too busy reading my paper. "Ummm, Miss Dawes, I think there's something wrong with my paper. I got a C-!" I was baffled. Even in grade 11 advanced, I got As usually.

"Clare, your usually a great writing but recently you've….. Disconnected. That's why for the semester I've given you Eli as an English partner."

"Awe, why do I need a partner then?" asked the kid, who as it turned out was sitting behind me. I turned around, and my eyes blew out of their sockets…

"You're too wordy, We may have a very special patnership on our hand people.," she gasped, "Like Sylivia Plath and Ted Hughes!"

"Sylivia Plath killed herself….." I whispered. I looked down at my desk. Sure I liked Eli, but I didn't take criticism well. I sighed and continued my work until lunch came. I ignored Alli to type up my essay, but she was into this guy "Drew" so I had a feeling she wouldn't miss me. Around came the next English block after lunch, and I walked in to see Eli omnomnoming on an apple. I handed him my paper, and he quickly read it over.

"It's horrible, isn't it? Crudely worded, bad theming…."

"It's double spaces and the title is centered…" He smiled weakly at me, and I sighed.

"It really that bad, isn't it?" I growled in frustration, hands in my lap.

"The bell hasn't rang you know, it's not too late…" he said suggestively, so I thought for a minute and walked to the door. He didn't follow me, so I turned around and called him. "You coming?" He made a face, then followed. If I was skipping class (oh, just sooo rebellious I know) then so was he!

"We're skipping to do homework? That's a first," complained Eli. He later came to complain about my topic. I guess Miss Dawes was right, because Eli seemed dead set on gun control being "impersonal".

"What should I write about then, smartie pants?"

"Write about something that pisses you off!" we went on and talked, and I attempted to flirt, but he somehow talked me into screaming because I cared too much about what other people think. Just great, KC always said the same thing…

"Come on, now you have to do it too!" I yelled playfully, after I screamed my lungs out to prove I was NOT afraid.

"It's not my style," he tried to say, but I pushed him back, trying to get him to join in the embarrassment, but he wouldn't do it. He backed up into a pole, and we were only a few centimeters away. I could smell Doritos and feel his warm tingly breath. I ran and sat down on the street bench, occasionally stealing glances at the smirking Eli. From his eyes, I knew this feeling was real. I don't care what people think, because as of this moment, I believed in love at first sight when I met him, but now I believed in soul mates and even though I barely knew him, I could feel he was mine.

**prologue end**

Author's Notes: Wooow, yeah from now on it gets to be my creative **dances** well anyways thanks for reading, the best part is coming soon, maybe even tomorrow! Its just easier right now because its winter break :3 by the way for all my American readers, a centimeter is, well I think its between ¼ or 1/3 inches. So yeah, I'll be working in Canadian measures like impercial/metres and Celsius and stuff. Oh and km for hour, because I've read miles per hour fanfiction for degrassi, and it annoys me to no end because degrassi is in Toronto, Ontario, CANADA lolz. Flame if you want, I don't mind, but most of all thanks for reading :3


	3. Chapter 1: Not Good Enough

**Chapter 1: Not Good Enough For Truth or Cliché** (ransom song titles for the win)

I remember when he said it. How could I forget? I read his story about Clara Edwin a super vampire girl who was an ingénue, and always believed in the good in others. That's why she was a good vampire, she didn't even blame the sucky vampire that converted her, or the thieves and criminals. "They're just having a bad year, really." When I first read it, I thought she was such a floozy, but slowly it turned into an English assignment version of a comic book. It was strangely amusing. In this issue Clara's best friend, Ellie Penceworthy, confessed her true feelings for her on the top of a rooftop garden. I stuck my tongue out.

"What? Clare doesn't like my latest exciting turn? Look at the name, Clare." I reread it- Ellie Penceworthy….. It was like some demented form of Eli Goldsworthy. But Eli isn't a girl with red hair and arm warmers! She just had a similar name and fashion sense.

"Ellie and Clara are together," he said, than smirked at me. There was a cheesy gleam in his eye, like he had given me some secret message, and I had to decode it.

"Why is Ellie a girl, Eli?" I asked.

"What, you got something against lesbians?" he cheerfully laughed, and he turned a slight rosen pink. I giggled and looked him straight in the eye, reaching to hold his hand. He then used his other hand to slightly life my jaw. We locked eyes, and then he did exactly what I expected him to do. He leaned down and kissed me. It was amazing. I mean, I know KC had a lot of experience, and Eli definitely wasn't my first, but nothing could compare. In the stories I read- it's always like magic, with stars and sparks and fire works… That's exactly what it was like. I don't even care if it's cliché but it's true. We broke apart, and all I could do was just stare into his beautiful eyes, as he did the same. After a minute my mind started to return to normal.

"I don't, I'm just dead certain Ellie is you, just as Clara is me."

"Eh, maybe your right, but you kissed me back, so I guess you're my girlfriend, just like Clara," he smirked at me.

"You little sneak! You had this all planned out!" I accused, not in a bad way, but I had grown curious to see if I was right.

"Hey I just wrote the story, trying to give you a hint since coming straight out makes me nervous! We both know romance can't really be planned, darlin'," he laughed, and took my hand, walking me to the park. I guess this spontaneous act was our first date. Ironically it was also the first time my dad hit me. I guess I was "stupid" enough to update my facerange and leave the computer on.

"You're DATING that greasy little gothic boy? Didn't you put us through enough trouble with that idiot KC? Go to your room, I don't even wanna see you, you selfish brat!" yelled my dad, Randall. He then slapped me, threw me in my room, and slammed the door. I flipped backwards and landed on my bed, but the metal siding left a bruise on my leg. I cried till 3, when my mom walked in tried to be friendly, but basically told me to shut up because she couldn't sleep. I guess I was lucky that Randall (I don't think I'll call him dad in my thoughts anymore) was a deep sleeper.

"I have to keep it a secret," I whispered to my stuffed heart pillow. I couldn't let Eli know that I had been so reckless, and that he was involved in what caused Randall to finally snap and hit me when I didn't do anything wrong. I knew he would just blame himself so I quickly wrote it down in my lock journal and hid it inside my pillow. I sleep with my secrets.

It's important that you know that Eli was a great guy, despite his flaws, and that I loved him more than anything in the world. Maybe that's why I'm writing this, so he'll see it, and he'll find me… I guess I should start again.

On this day, which was a week before Halloween, Eli and I had been together for almost a month, and I was so happy. Saturday hit, and I went to his house so we could edit our work, throw on a movie, and brain storm costume ideas. I unlocked the door and walked in his room. His eyes were dark and glazed over. I slowly sat next to him on the bed. He was still in his batman PJ bottoms, and he wore no shirt. Normally, that would captivate me, but right now I was scared to see Eli, _my_ _Eli_, looking so dangerous, which too would normally set me on a love high.

"E…. Eli? Are you okay?" I asked. He could probably see the fear in my eyes, but he didn't seem to care.

"Just…. Clare, I know we got something good going on, but just…. Leave! I need to think okay?" My eyes widened and I tried to walk out of his room. It was still cluttered with stuff since Eli was a hoarder and I tripped on a chest. I landed on my head, and my back was in serious pain. I was conscious just long enough to hear Eli swear. "F*ck."

To be continued

Author's Notes: I love my creative freedom, but its easier to word what I already knew xD in any case, I hope you like it, and sorry because I'm an Eli fan too, but things might not be too nice for a while. But hey, my story, my idea…. If theres something that's a bit off though, feel free to tell me because this isn't JUST about me. Oh and This kinda stuff is real. You see a lot of dark fics, but you never really realize that this kinda stuff actually goes down. My dad hit me over my ex, and I can still feel it like half a year later, and my ex was a dick but yet totally sweet. He kissed me like a year and a half after we broke up, and it was EXACTLY how I described it, if not better…


	4. Chapter 2: Mad World

**Chapter 2: Mad World**

I woke up, and I could hear the sirens going off. I looked around and saw people staring at me.

"She's awake!" shouted a man to my left.

"Okay, go question her, she took some serious trauma to the head- who knows what could be wrong with her!" Something about what the guy in charge said made me cringe. Something was wrong with me? I probably looked like a deer caught in the head lights right now but I didn't care. I sat straight up and started shaking. My head was bleeding, dying my golden brown locks a deathly red. I could feel it trickle. I was hyperventilating and I could see the very air blur. I passed out again.

"So doctor Chris, is there anything wrong with my daughter? You better pray Goldsworthy, because if this freak accident did any damage to my baby girl, I'll file a lawsuit!" My mom yelled. She never used to yell, but I guess it only makes sense that she does now that her and Randall are fighting. He's hardened her, turned her into a little ball of bitter anger. She's also smarter, coming out thinking of things she should and or shouldn't have done. As I listened, I pieced it together. My own mother was threatening my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend and his family based on my health. Because I live with my mom I will say this, and it might sound cold but she was probably just doing it for the cash. My mom learnt not to care.

"Thankfully she is fine, so none of you have to worry. The worse she might have are dizzy spells and she might have a bit of brain damage-" my heart broke "-so she might be missing some memories. Oh, and also I suggest come chiropractor appointment to deal with her back."

"You're lucky this time, but you better pay for chiropractor is full, just in case," spat my mom. As I suspected, my mom really did sound like she was using me for money. The doctor was looking around when he caught me watching.

"Hello there, can you tell me your name?" He asked, his head tilted to the side in a cute but questioning way.

"It's…" I couldn't think. Part of me was yelling CLARE DIANE EDWARDS but a completely different voice was yelling JULIA RAYNE SILVANSEN. The doctors, nurses, and family looked at me- just waiting for me to say my name. "I can't tell," I finally said to break the tension. "Am I Julia, or am I Clare? I have both names just pulsating through my mind… It kinda hurts. Mum?"

After a prolonged silence, Eli who was barely paying an attention and was leaning right against the door, ran. My eyes started to tear up, when CeCe Goldsworthy took a step towards me. "Julia who, sweetie?"

"Julia Rayne Silvansen," I said with a smirk. My hair looked almost black from all the blood they couldn't get off my head, and I looked almost like the girl in the picture I saw in Eli's room except her hair was longer and her eyes were dark blue, not light.

"No, your Clare! My Clare!" yelled my mom, and I could see the saddening confusion in her eyes. She might have used me a bit ago, but she still needed my love even if she didn't need to love me. I looked over at CeCe's eyes and they were soft and warm. They looked all too familiar, like I had seen them many times before.

"Jules, is that you in there?" she said, barely above a whisper.

"What?" said my mother. She couldn't take it anymore so she walked out without so much as goodbye.

"CeCe, I'm scared….."

"What's going on baby doll?" she asked.

"I don't even know who I am CeCe! Who am I!"

"What **do** you know?"

"I know Eli is my ex, and I know my mom just left. I know my dad's not here and it's probably because it's too busy, but I can't tell which name is mine, and I feel like I'm…. Like I'm two people. Are you sure you aren't secretly my mother, because I feel so much closer then before…"

The air was getting intense. You could feel it. "Jules err Clare…. We should give you a new name or something… In any case, remember when I told you thank you were always welcome in Eli's room? Well it was because Julia lived with us. Yes, your Julia is our Julia. I know Eli loved her so so much, but I loved her very much too. She was practically my daughter. We used to bake together and cook together and watch movies together because her parents basically abandoned her."

What happened next was unexpected. I had no control over my body, but I got up and walked over to CeCe, giving her a huge hug. "CeCe I missed you, it was so scary in the dark." I whispered in her ear, but it wasn't really _me_ and it wasn't even in my voice.

CeCe's eyes widened but she quickly smiled down at me, and held me just as tight. "I missed you." She rolled her arm up and down my back. She then walked to her purse and threw some clothes at me, with Julia written on all the tags. I put on the purple and black Black Veil Brides t-shirt, laces black pants, under garments, and purple converses. The kind of clothes Julia probably had to jump the boarder to get. I quickly got changed and met her in the foyer.

"What are we going to do about Eli?"

To Be Continued

Author's Notes: Okay pretty big chapter I think…. This wasn't the original plan, but oh well I grew it =3 In any case, if you go on you can find pants and the shirt is pretty hard to find. Most people don't know much about Julia and they make up her looks and stuff but there's actually a picture of her in Eli's messy room. Here's all you need to know lol .com/wiki/Julia I'm very excited 3 Thanks for reading. Review?


	5. Chapter 3: Famous Last Words

**Chapter 3: Famous Last Words**

_What are we going to do about Eli?_

**CeCe's POV**

"Hey baby boy, what's going on?" I asked. I tried to smile friendly at him because if anybody knew Elijah it was me. I knew that when bad things happen he would ignore it, and let it just build upside where he could deny deny deny until he explodes and then he's scary.

"Mom could you just leave it? I'm not in the mood to talk right now!" Figured as much, but I never knew how to deal with him. He's so stubborn, like his father, he never listens. I sighed and walked back into the house.

"I'm going to go play video games now, so don't go looking for me," yelled Eli over his shoulder as he trudged to his gaming room. I knew he needed time, so in half an hour I was gunna conveniently interrupt. This is just too important to ignore. Maybe he'll actually listen if I get some pizza. I called pizza hut and got triple cheese and pepperoni.

Finally, the pizzas came. I quickly paid the man, and didn't even bother collecting my change. I burst through the door to see Eli's eyes squished together, like he was concentrating on his Call of Duty or whatever it's called. "I bought us some pizza." I threw it on the table so he quickly paused his game (thank god he wasn't on live) and said good bye to Adam on the other side of the headset.

"Sooo pepperoni? Thanks, I guess…" He quickly grabbed two slices and shoved them down his throat.

"Sooo Eli, kiddo, what now?"

I heard his heavily sigh, then open his mouth as if to talk, but he was obviously still thinking. "God mom, you sound just like Adam. What next? What about Clare? Dude, what the hell did you do? Uggh can't I just play some video games in peace!"

"No Elijah! That's all you ever do when a crisis comes up! Well, I'm not going to let you, because this isn't just about you anymore. What are you going to do about Clare? Like seriously, what did she do wrong babe?"

"I never meant for this to happen but it's just so close to Halloween, and well…. You know."

"Oh my god Eli, I'm so sorry. I forgot all about that…"

"It's just, this is the same bed, and I know somewhere in here is her picture, and it's just wrong for me to be doing this." I help Eli close, and rocked him back and forth out of habit.

"Your right, your right, I'm so sorry Eli… How about we put on a cd and just talk about it?" He got up and looked through his stuff.

"The classics, dead hand, or something else?"

"What ever you want sweetie, it's your day today." I smiled up at him as he dug through CDs and finally grabbed a CD labeled "We Stitch These Wounds".

"_This record is for the outcasts, following a tale of love, life, and never giving in. We are the Black Veil Brides…."_ He switched to a track that I faintly remembered from his music blaring days.

"I open my lungs dear,  
I sing this song at funerals, no rush.  
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.  
A baby boy you've held so tightly, this pain it visits almost nightly.  
Missing hotel beds I feel your touch.."

I could feel his pain. I could only imagine how much missing a diseased lover would hurt. I pulled him in my lap, and the tears fell freely.

"She would hate me so much mom, I basically cheated on her and with like her polar opposite. I hope there's an after life so that she is okay, but honestly, I also hope not because I can't face her after this…."

"I will await dear,  
A patient of eternity, my crush.  
A universal still, No rust.  
No dust will ever grow on this frame,  
One million years I will say your name.  
I love you more than I can ever scream.

Booked our flight those years ago,  
I said I love you as I left you.  
'Grets still haunt my hollow head,  
I promised you I will see you again."

"Eli, there is an afterlife…"

"No mom, don't do this to me!" he yelled as he pushed himself off me. "You're my mom, comfort me! Don't scare me like that!" I started to cry. I guess I should tell him what I threw.

"Eli…. She's back. I don't know how, but she's back."

"Where? Where mom, where? I need to see her! I need to apologize!" He was screaming, and shaking. He tried to stay strong but he fell onto the couch. He couldn't take it anymore.

I whispered, "she's inside Clare…"

"What? Cl…. Clare?"

"You know how Clare had so much blood on her hair from grand father's trunk that it was basically black? Who did she look like Eli?"

"She looked like Julia, but that's not the point! That means nothing!"

"True enough, but she hit her head in _your_ room Eli. Now if you were a ghost, wouldn't you live in your love's room?"

"Well yeah, but there's no such thing! It's not _possible! _She' d.e.a.d.!"

He wasn't handling it well. "Fine, sure Eli, it's impossible, so let's talk hypothetically since its just soo impossible. Hypothetically, if she were a live, and staying in Clare's body, what would you do?"

I saw him tear at his hair in frustration, than look me in the eye. "Honestly mom, I don't know. I might be cheesy at times, but I wasn't born to be a lover. I was born to rock, okay? I do not know what I would do if she was back. I guess I'd…. Apologize? I mean I lover her so much, but then there's Clare and I just don't know what to do. Julia was kinda a metaphoric green-eyed monster…" I squeezed his hand.

"Well, sometimes in life we lose people, and when you love them, you can never stop. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't move on. Now come on baby boy."

"Where are we going?"

"To see Clare."

Authors Notes: I'm so glad I got this chapter down. I tried to write it yesterday but the laptop died. Wrote it before work. Sorry I'm slow to update….. I was watching Degrassi in India while I was writing and I thought it was kul. BTW Black Veil Brides, totally a legit band. I love them. For the sake most people aren't huge BVB fans I won't have this a bvb fic but I'll probably throw in a few things here and there for my passion. Thanks for reading. Review?


	6. Chapter 4: The Best Part Of Fighting

**Chapter 4: The Best Part of Fighting is The MakeUp XXX**

**CeCe's POV**

We got to the house and rang the door bell. Nobody answered, but we saw the lights on so we rang again. Still no answer.

"Come on mom, let's go. They're obviously bus-" I opened the door and walked inside. It was an eerie feeling in the house. It put us both on edge. Suddenly, there was a crash, and I could see the shards of a broken plate, or maybe it was a bowl. I couldn't tell. We slowly crept into the kitchen with Eli a bit behind me. I caught sight of it.

There stood Mrs. Edwards and her husband Randall Edwards. They didn't seem to see me, but it came as quite a shock when Mrs. Edwards threw the pepper at her husband who dodged it. It continued to fly, though, and it grazed past my ear. We were still unseen, but a little shaken, so we stood back a bit and just waited for a moment.

"Helen, she is our daughter, now she might be a horrible child, but she's ours! You can't just run away because she's acting strange!"

"Well, Ran-dall, I can do what I want because it's a free country and I REFUSE to be trapped in this house with that, that demon obsessed FREAK!" She yelled, threw the matching saltshaker, then walked right past us. Even still, she didn't notice us. Randall had his dead down, and looked like he needed a minute alone. He didn't need to know we had just witnessed that. Eli didn't seemed too phased by it, and I soon discovered I was alone to suffer the fate of knowing. He had his earphones in.

I tapped his shoulder, and he reluctantly followed me up the stairs. I turned the knob and lightly pushed him in. He turned to look at me with pleading eyes, and I felt the need to pull him into a hug, but I did what was best, and closed the door with him inside.

**Eli's POV**

My eyes were shaking as Clare sat at a Vanity, brushing her newly dark locks. The sun that came in through cracks in the blinds hit her hair, making the blondish color highlight the bloody black hair. She continued to brush, as she softly hummed _Your Guardian Angel_ by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. It felt strange; almost wrong. The worst part was, Clare was happily humming Julia and I's song. She then smirked lightly, yet warmly as she noticed me in the mirror. It felt all too familiar, yet I couldn't remember.

"Hi E, it's been so long, I'm so glad to see you!" E. Clare never called me that. Nor did she ever wear a silky black nightgown with a silvery-grey scarf. She even tilted her head to the side, in a childish way. Clare might be innocent, but she is definitely not childish.

"Clare?" I asked, dumbly. I was so struck. Clare looked so beautiful, and so much like Jules, but not. It was a strange combination, and it scared me more then anything. I took a step forward, and she did the same. Her smile dimmed slightly, and she put her finger up to her slightly pouting lip.

"You honestly don't recognize me, Eli? But…. We lived together E… We shared the same room and everything." Mom was right. It was Julia, and everything started to make sense. Her Family life was complicated, so when she died, of course she stayed at my house. That's why she's inside Clare. It also explained Clare's strange behavior and new look. Not many people knew the dorky, cute Julia. The girl who loved anime, and the so-called "lolita" fashion. They all saw her as the "gothic" or "emo kid", but I knew better. She even loved the girly stuff like Tokyo Mew Mew and that show about the slutty sailors from when I was little; oh yeah, sailor moon. At least she also watched Death Note, Inuyasha, Bleach, and a few ninja-type shows.

She frowned, and her eyes started to water. "It's me Eli…. It's Julia…. I see how it is, because I died you just moved on. I guess I wanted you to, but… I'm back Elijah, and I don't think I can disappear without you precious little Clare-bear! Eli, she's like a doll!" She was yelling, and softly crying, as she threw me out of the way and disappeared into Clare's ensuite. "Just…. Just go away Eli, I get it. Right now Clare is sleeping so just come back later. You don't want me, and you definitely don't want me in _her_ body. Her weak, frail, innocent body…"

"Are you talking about sex, Jules? Because your right, Clare's virginity is not yours to give."

"No, no, she'd still be a virgin, I'd just….. Give you a taste. It wouldn't even be her, so she'd still be a virgin!"

"Julia, it doesn't work like that. Once it gets in, then it's in and you can't take that back."

"So basically, what your saying is even though I was **robbed** of my body, and god or whatever gave me a second chance, but I'm not even allowed to use it as I please, because I have to share it with a boyfriend thief?" She shrilly yelled at me. I fought it, but tears ran.

"Julia, I'm sorry, I still love you but Clare is just so… Breakable. And I couldn't bare to do that to her!"

"So instead, you decide to hurt me, even though I had to suffer the pain of being ran over." She was choking on her sobs, I could hear it. I went to the bathroom and pushed it open surprised that she didn't lock it. I saw her lying there on the floor and I held her close to me. My breathing matched hers, and we sat together crying over a love that could no longer be. All I could think of was "What am I going to do?"

Author's Notes: It's getting hard to write….. **sigh** in any case, thanks for reading and hope this isn't like a horrible chapter. Hopefully it'll get better. It feels short, but it feels wrong to put two different things into one chapter. Only the prologue and maybe the epilogue can get away with that. More reference, well YGA was me and my evil ex's song. It's horribly cute and kind of appropriete if you think about it. "I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever, I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven…." Because in order to save Eli from their crazy sex-fling relationship or whatever and get him Clare, she did get sent to heaven. Okay, not quite, but some times in life you have to wander before you find what's good for you. I love silk, and lolita is amazing. I'm suuuuch and anime nerd, but I gave up on my Inuyasha fanfics (I feel like such a bad person, but I couldn't find a middle when I already planned the beginning and end. FLAWED XD) Aaaaanyways thanks for reading and tell me if its crappy because not only can I take it but it's 12:30 atm, and I think I'm a bit tired. It's just I know people who update TWO STORIES per day and I update mine about 2-3 times a week I'm guessing? I feel horrible. Really long rant sorry, anyways thanks and stay tunes!


	7. Chapter 5: Situations

**Chapter 5: Situations**

I woke up on the linoleum. It was very cold, and I questioned how I managed to fall asleep there in the first place. I looked at the porcelain thrown, and noticed the plushy, ocean blue seat. I rolled over and saw the ocean mural on the wall. There was one thing I was certain of- this was not MY bathroom, or any bathroom in my house for that matter. I got up and walked out, now knowing where I was now. Clares. Or was it Julia's now?

I looked over at the breath-taking girl in front of me. She was lying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Julia."

"Umm, no. It's me Eli…. Clare." She hung her head low, and whimpered. I knew it was my fault, but it wasn't my intention to hurt her. I just wanted to protect Julia. Ok that was a lie; I wanted to protect _myself_ from the wrath of Julia. I guess I really was a selfish person after all. I looked in her eyes, and proved it yet again. Her blue orbs of ocean were splashing around like a river. She was on the verge of tears, and I couldn't even handle it. Sow what if I wasn't her boyfriend? I still could have held her in my arms and tried to calm her down. You know what I did, though? I ran.

I ran down the stairs and slammed through the front door to see my mom reading some teenage book about a girl named Ever who was _apparently_ so exciting because she was an immortal, and she was in love with the immortal who kept killing her boyfriends in her past lives. Not really my type of literature, but I guess that's because it was written by a woman. As I got closer, I noticed she was texting somebody. I ran across the street to get to the car when I got hit. Not hard, but hard enough to scare the driver. I fell to the road and lyed there, completely flat on my back. The moment I did that the car drove right over me, barely missing my arm in an attempt to get away from the accident. Jerk.

"ELI! What happened! Are you okay?" she asked, obviously freaking out. "I know, I'll call 911!" She was hastily dialing a number into the phone when her eyes widened, and she realized that dad's medical couldn't cover an ambulance. She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, then walked me to the front seat. The ride to the hospital was completely fine. I don't know what it is with car crashes, but I think everybody in my life will end up getting hit sooner or later. I'm just bad luck. It's funny, because they say planes are safer then cars. I know for a fact that cars are incredibly unsafe, so how is that a good comparison? By how much is it safer? I always wondered that.

I was stuck in the hospital for about an hour, and the doctor said I was fine, I just had a bruise around my torso, but ice packs and Motrin would numb it up in a second. I popped the orange pill and went home. The doctor said I was even well enough for school tomorrow.

~~~School~~~

I begged, I hoped, I pleaded that Clare or Julia wouldn't be at school today. I hoped they would call in sick, because I knew I couldn't. I went through the day in boring fashion, and then I froze. I had advanced English with "Clare" next. I cautiously emptied to class and sat down in my seat. I rested my head, and waited for school to start. I heard tons of footsteps, but one sounded more like clicks; high heels from hell kind of clicks.

"So, it's Miss Dawes, right?"

"Clare, what did you do to your hair!" Miss Dawes looked mortified beyond belief, and as for Clare. She told me she had a sister, and this girl in front of me must have borrowed her old clothes. She wore a silky black leopard-print gown over some deep navy skinnies.

"Umm, actually I'm Julia Rayne Silvansen. The schedule on my bedroom floor said I'm supposed to be in here." Miss Dawes almost past out. She told us to spend the whole period writing essays that mimic journal entries. It was one of her favorite teaching methods, and she got a strange happiness out of connecting to the "real us" after we apparently "drop our water lines and expose the raw truth" so to speak. I could only imagine that her other teachers reacted the same, as Miss Dawes started making some calls. Her face went from confused to dumbfounded and all the way back again.

"Hey Eli," Julia said, smiling as me, which she twirled a pencil in her short locks. I smiled back and shook my head. Some things just don't change I guess, even after death. "I think I'll write my paper on my 'experience' so to speak. I'm hoping you'll read it over, since you were Clare bear's writing partner?" I lightly nodded and went on writing.

_The past. It's like footprints. Once you make one, it's done, but it's still there. Some footprints might disappear but others never can. One such footprint is sitting behind me as I write this. I have committed no crimes, besides stealing the occasional song off the Internet, and yet I think I deserve to go to jail. Why? Julia._

_Julia was my girlfriend, and we were very close. It was April 22 when it happened. I can't even remember what she did, all I remember is saying "I think we should take a break….." I doubt you have, but if you ever watched Get Him To The Greek and you saw the part with the bossy Nazi doctor girlfriend, she said the same thing. And we both meant the same thing. If I knew our relationship was actually over, I never would have said anything, because nothing could have been worth that._

_I remembered pacing my room, waiting for her to come home but she never did. Instead, I just got a call from the hospital confirming her DOA. If you haven't guessed, that means dead on arrival. I never even went to her funeral, but in the end even though I wish she hadn't died. Us being a part worked for the better, because when I transferred to Degrassi I met and angel named Clare._

_I recently broke up with Clare, due to the fact I lost my virginity on Halloween, which would be this weekend. It's been over a year, and that date is just really special, and I know Julia would kill me over it, had she been alive._

_Recently, the unexpected happened, and __Julia came back to life through Clare's body because she fell over a chest in my room__ I ran into Julia. She's sitting behind me, her eyes burn a whole in my head. I miss her so much, but I also miss Clare. Which leads me to ask: Should Romeo have gotten back with Rosaline after Juliet's "departure"?_

I quickly scribbed my name on the top and handed it in. When I got back there was a letter perfectly folded into a heart on my desk and Julia smiled up sweetly at me like she was somehow innocent. I opened the letter and…..

To be continued xD

Author's Notes: okay so it's hard to write recently, a tiny tiny bit of writers block, a lack of knowing whose POV I should use, but mostly school work since it's the end of a Canadian semester. I only finished writing this since I called in sick (trust me, I am). Hope you enjoyed this and sorry if its not up to par. I put it on suspense mode for next time lol. BTW darcy's dress was inspired by my googling pictures of darcy. I'd send an imagine but it wasn't very clear. Oh and Miss Dawes basically quoted Challenge Day in here. I dunno, I love throwing in things like that randomly, like some sort of inside joke or hidden surprise thanks for reading, don't forget to review (seriously, I like never get reviews guys!)


	8. Chapter 6: All Angel, No Wings

**Chapter 6: All Angel No Wings**

_I hate you. It's what I want to say more than anything. When you're pushed down over and over, all you wanna do is just hate. I deserve to hate; I'm the victim. But here I am, and I still cannot hate him. I know in the movies they always give them the whole "she would want you to move on" story, but honestly? It's not like that. I was there, watching him be with a different girl. I could hear him say that he couldn't bear to let go of the things in his room because it's all he had left of me._

_It scared me, how Clare just came in and changed that. With every box of "junk" as she dared call it, I felt like I was dying. It's not a good feeling, as I was already dead. I felt betrayed, on so many different levels. He even gave this kid Adam all my graphic novels. Yet still I couldn't hate him. Instead I held my personal grudge on not-so-perfect goodie-good Clare. In the end, I guess I kind of am Clare. I guess all revenge is sweet. No matter what happens now, I'm not falling into that black light until it is truly my time. It's scary as hell down there in the boarder crossing between heaven and hell._

_~Julia "Goldsworthy"_

My eyes widened. Everything I had been afraid of since she had died had turned out to be true, and people dared to lie to me about it. I had no time to be mad at the world, I listened to them, and now Clare doesn't even have control of her own body half of the time. I looked around the room, but Julia had disappeared. On her desk was a sticky note. _Miss Dawes, went to the bathroom, personal emergency, be back tomorrow _I tossed it aside, and left the room. I had to set things straight.

**Julia's POV**

I have a feeling he never handed in the assignment, but why would I care? Clare as high enough grades it doesn't matter. I'm basically set for life. I splashed water on my face, and noticed the light blue was coming back into my dark hues. I was losing control, and I didn't know how to hold on. I pounded my firsts into the sink and cried at the mirror image in front of me. It wasn't me.

I fell to the ground and held my stomach, as the tears freely flowed. I wasn't giving up, I wouldn't give her control. _Please, please, let me out…._ I couldn't give in. It's like she could read and hear everything. All of a sudden it hit me. I had to break her, make her lose control.

"So you can what, Clare? Your parents give me more time of day then they've given you all year! And what about your sister Darcy? We both know she thinks you're such a little bitch, trying to ruin her teenage _fun_ on her! Oh and one more thing, Eli loves me! He told me so himself, he promised forever, and I even got a promise ring to prove it. Wanna know where it is Clare-bear?"

I heard a weak, shrill _no_ but I went on anyways. "It's in his underwear drawer." I would have continued, went on about Eli and I and last Halloween, but she took the hint and disappeared. I can't help but wonder what happens to her when I take control. I suppose she sleeps, fights me, or idly watches me live her life for her. I know what I said was cold, but she _knew_ Eli was mine, yet she still tried to take him from me. Just because I was dead, didn't mean we broke up, right? I looked in the mirror again, and my dark blues were back. I smirked at myself, and left the premises. There was something I had to do.

It took a while, but I finally found it. It was my fairy tale tree that I shared with Eli. When I was little I discovered it, and I slowly tunneled underneath. There was about 2 meters tall by 5 meters of space, including our beanie bed. It worked well, as the tree's roots held it up, kept it hidden, and provided a good structure. I grabbed my bunny stuffy that had been untouched since April that year; days before I died. The bunny was special, because it was black with little fake diamonds all over it, and giant fake diamonds for eyes, and stitches for everything else. The ear had started to tear, but I couldn't part with it. Eli won it for me.

It was the fair. We were twelve, and he barely had an interest in girls, and we weren't even together yet, but we flirted. We were best friends. We went to the fair together, and he played some dumb fair game.

"_Hey Jules, I'm gunna win you something, so just keep an eye out for what you want!" _Eli had so much confidence and I smiled and blushed. I looked through giant bears, Disney characters, and whatever else there was to be had, but they only had one bunny. It wasn't even a bonus prize, just some wimpy done prize. I tugged on his hoodie, and pointed to it. He smiled at me, and knocked all the cups down with one ball. "_We'll take the bunny for my lil' lady friend over here please."_ The game runner looked so shocked, but he passed us the winnings, and we walked around, with Eli's arm securely around my waste. That's when I knew I was in love with him, and I had a feeling he felt the same, I was just too scared to ask.

Before I knew it, I was asleep. I don't even know how long I had been out, but I woke up to the sound of a slamming door….

Author's Notes: Is it short? I'm sorry, I wanna write longer, but I have bad writers block, and I was just really sick earlier this week, end my best friend almost killed me. Excuses, excuses….. Not too big of a deal since people haven't taken too big of an interest in my little story. Oh well. The title is a song by a little known banded called To Be Juliet's Secret. My secret obsession and secret torture 3 K so thanks for reading, review and tell me how bad I suck when I go off on random tangents xD


	9. Chapter 7: Goodnight Moon

**Chapter 7: Goodnight Moon**

_Before I knew it, I was asleep. I don't even know how long I had been out, but I woke up to the sound of a slamming door…. _My eyes snapped open, and I looked over and the front entrance where the cover was being moved. I started to tremble, as if caught in a nightmare. Finally a face appeared. I knew who it was, because we were the only people who knew about this place. It was Eli. He was soaked from his head to his toe, with his hair coving most of his eyes.

"Julia, what the hell? I looked everywhere for you!" I was terrified, but at the same time, he looked so attractive, especially with his hair like that. I back up and he took a step forward. I fell over on to our bean bag bed, and the silky comforter I left in there smelt musky and dirty, but I didn't care. Under all the old was the smell of us, and our adventured. From my first time to my last time, to the tickle wars, to jam sessions. We had a lot of memories right here on this sham of a mattress. I shut my eyes and tried to go back to the day, even though it felt uncomfortable trying to remember the feelings I had in a body long since decayed.

I felt him lift me up, and his eyes burned through my lids. "What do you want Eli? I'm mad at you, go away!" I pushed him, tears starting to flow out my Lacrimal Glands. I turned around and launched myself face first onto the cushion. There was a stain less then a foot away from my face, painfully reminding me of the life I could have had. "It wasn't my time Eli, I wasn't supposed to die! It wasn't supposed to be the end, and even looking at this damn bed makes me fall apart! And you know what the worst part is? I _finally_ found a way back and you don't even care anymore! I bet you wanna f*ck little saint Clare's brains out you, you…. Jerk!" I slammed my arms into the over-sized bag of beads, over and over again. Hoping it would make me feel better, hoping it would ease the pain. I felt nothing. I was about to stop when I got pulled back into a hug.

"I'm sorry Julia, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I am just so frickin' sorry… I don't even deserve your forgiveness for what I did to you. I'm…a monster, Jules. I sent you to your impending doom, and it's entirely my fault. There is nothing I can do that can possibly make anything better…" I looked into his eyes, and there was a sincere truth to everything he was saying. I reached up and moved his hair to get a better view, but as I did it, he simply flicked it out of the way, getting my finger tips damp.

"Eli, kiss me." I whispered gently into his ear, as I coyly smiled at him.

"I… Julia, I still love you, but… I love Clare too, and she doesn't deserve that. I don't deserve her, but the least I can do is be there for her." His eyes looked sad, and a bit dark. I couldn't take seeing him like that, so despite what he said, I did what I always did when he would seem upset. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. He fought me for a second, but he eventually succumbed to me as I twisted my tongue into his mouth. I could feel water on my cheek as we cried. We both cried, and held on as close as we could. I begged that this wouldn't be the final good bye. If this was our last kiss, I wished I had never existed. I don't care if people find it selfish, but that's the way of lovers.

My head hit the wall, and I was softly positioned on the bed, with him wildly attacking my mouth. It was like a passionate river that just didn't want to fade away. I would refuse to let our flame burn out. I started bushing back against him, searching for a sign that he wasn't giving up on us either, but he pulled away, and gave me a sad look. My dark lip gloss was all over his face.

"I'm sorry, Julia." He sent me a sad smile, and slowly walked out of the tree club. He was about to close the entrance, when he poked his head in. "You should probably get a ride with me. The Edwards are freaked out since it's like midnight and it's still raining."

I got up and walked up to Morty. He was my favorite car ever, and I smiled as I opened the door. When I took a seat, I saw Eli staring straight forward, as if he was avoiding eye contact. I stared out the window into the pouring cloudburst. All this time, I couldn't help but think; what have I gotten myself in to? It was one of those moments where I wished I had never been born.

~~~~~~~~~~~Eli's POV~~~~~~~~~~~

School had finally ended and I went on the search. It was my fault, and my responsibility, so I had to find Julia, or Clare, whoever was in charge at the moment. I figured I would start at home, since Julia used to live at my house.

"Mom, is Julia here?"

"Oh you two are talking again? I'm so happy sweetie!" Cece came and gave me a hug.

"Not necessarily, but she ran off and I need to know where she is, so is she here?"

"No sweetie," she replied sadly. I walked off, and drove to Alli's place. Visiting the Edwards house was not on the top of my list right now, since Clare made them hate me. Stupid Jesus freaks and their hatred for atheists, people like my family, and rock n' roll music. They just…. Bug me, and at the same time scare me. I drove until I got to the house. It was pretty nice. I knocked, familiar with the doorbell. To my surprise, Sav answered. I guess I didn't connect the dots and realize he was Alli's older brother.

"Hey, Eli, what are you doing here? God it feels like I haven't seen you since the crazy night at Dead Hand!" We did the hand slide, fist pump, then I answered his question.

"Actually Sav, I'm here in case Clare came to visit with Alli, since I know they're friends… But we should still jam once all this whole Clare thing clears up a bit."

"No, sorry man, she's not here, but yeah. I got the lyrics in my pocket. Come by any time, because I am- ungrounded!" I smirked at him then headed back to my car, shaking my head in his childish playfulness. Yeah, Sav had my vote, though I guess that's because Holy J scared me. Not it was nightmare time, and if she wasn't there, I was totally screwed.

"Randall, don't act like you give a damn about this family! I bet you have some slut waiting for you! There's no 'work' at all! Don't treat me like a fool! You can't even keep track of your own daughter!"

"Oh, and what about you Helen? You're a **house** wife, as in you watch the kid while I pay for all your tickets to church fundraisers and crap! Not only that, but you are being a horrible mother, not accepting her, so **you** go look for her! I have a paper to finish, and I can't even stand to do it here!" Mr Edwards got out of the house, slamming the door on his way out, and drove off in his new midlife crisis convertible. I just stood there. Terrified. I felt bad for Clare. She never told me how bad it was, and I just witnessed it. I slowly back up, and drove away in Morty. She obviously wasn't there.

'If I was Julia, or even Clare where would I be….' I sighed in defeat, and took a nap in the back.

"_Eli!" I heard Clare scream my name as she ran to me, and captured my body in her arms. I ran my hand through her short choppy locks, than tip toed up to kiss the top of her head. She giggled and looked up at me. "I love you Eli, I'm so glad your always there for me, even with everything going on in your life." I loved this girl so much, and I just wanted to keep her safe. We got up and went for a walk, it took a while, but we ended up at a huge tree. I smiled at her and squeezed her hand. I opened the secret door, and walked Clare in. We were laughing about some joke when I looked over at the bed. There was Julia, perfectly asleep._

I snapped awake. It was raining. I looked over at my cell and realized it was 11. 'I know where she is.' I pushed the key back into the ignition, and drove off to the tree fort. When I saw her, I was on the verge of tears. I was an animal, being in love with two girls at the same time. One who was like a sister, and one who was my dream girl. How could I hurt either of them? In the end, I would have to chose, and choosing Julia would be selfish- selfish and wrong. Julia had lived her life, and she lost it. It would be wrong for Clare to lose hers too. But being near Julia, it fogged up my vision, and made my absolute choice into a fuzzy idea. She made me cry, and we started to make out. The whole time I loved it, and that's what made me feel so guilty. I broke off, having my choice come back to me.

I drove her back home, and her mom was drunk asleep on the couch, with a bottle of wine. I don't even think her father was home. I was so glad Julia was in charge and not Clare. I said my goodbye and goodnight.

To Be Continued

Author's Notes: Goodnight Moon is by Go Radio, totally awesome. Sorry I haven't written. It's gone in different directions than intended and so its harder to write, plus I haven't gotten many reviews…. So sad. And I got a lot of guitar to play, essays to write, friends to help, and so on, so sorry to my loyalists. I shall try to keep truckin' it for y'all but if I don't make it, then I am sorry. Also, totes excited for Friday's premiere of In Too Deep =D Eli in a drama shirt? Haha, it's gunna be awesome but heartbreaking….


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